Giving & Getting: Don’t Bastardize It

Get Your Own Damn Hair

When people talk about ‘giving back’ they usually say it in a very generalized way without thinking about to whom, and why?

The nobility of giving to others and doing things for other people is not in the act itself. It’s in the intention of the gift.

For example, I recently cut my hair and gave if to Locks of Love (see right). The cutting of my hair and giving it to children in need is not what was important. What was important is that it made me happy to give something that I didn’t need to children who would benefit from it.

It made me happy to think that I could affect a child’s life. It made me happy to think that a little girl would feel like a princess again with my hair.
If someone off of the street who had cancer due to 50 years of smoking came and asked me to please give them all of my hair, I would probably tell them that off is the general direction in which I would like them to F#ck. If I did give it to them, it would be a sacrifice and I would be resentful and not happy at all.

In each situation, the action was the same: my hair was given to someone else.

The important distinction is the intention. I gave my hair to children because it gave me pleasure. I did not feel like I was sacrificing anything by doing it. It was a selfish gift. If I gave my hair to someone off of the street, the act would cease to have value to me.

We give because it makes us feel good. We don’t feel good because we give. It’s so important that you don’t forget this, because when it comes to more serious things in your life, you may be tempted to give up things you’ll never be able to get back thinking that it’s the right thing to do.

Is Selfishness the New Selflessness?

Although it may sound blasphemous, you should think about whether or not what you’re giving is making you happy. In other words, what are you getting out of it? I guarantee that anyone who is happy and ‘gives back’ gets something in return for it. Maybe it’s money. Maybe it’s just a feeling. Maybe it’s just because it makes the world feel right for them.

The more you get, the more you give. It’s not the other way around. People who give and never receive even a smile in return are not likely to keep on giving. The more you get from your gift, the more likely it is you’ll keep on giving.

Anyone who cares about your life won’t want you to do anything that makes you unhappy. It’s the people who ask you to give up something you love for no reason that you have to watch out for. If you make yourself happy, you’ll naturally want to make others happy. If you’re happy, everyone around you will be more likely to be happy.

It’s not the action, it’s the intention behind the action. Never forget that.

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