We had been meeting for a few weeks and he started out full of passion and drive. Yesterday he was less than motivated, not very enthusiastic.
When I asked him what was up, he just said that he thought it (meaning making money from niche sites) might just be impossible for him.
I was baffled. I showed him my results (which aren’t stellar, but they are good), and I showed him the results of my peers. He had all of the proof that he needed that the system was validated. All he needed to do was put in the work.
I reminded him of this but still he was determined not to be comforted. We ended our session a bit early and I told him to go think about whether or not this was the path he really wanted to take.
I told him that if I can do it, and my peers can do it, then he can do it. I didn’t tell him to have faith in the process. I didn’t tell him to just believe me. I gave him proof of success and guaranteed that he would succeed if he put in the effort.
I didn’t even tell him to have faith in himself. Faith means nothing to me. “Evaluate your strengths and your motivations,” I told him. “If you think that you’ve got the grit, then schedule another session.”
That won’t ever happen for me
He is confident, smart, and successful in his corporate job. But when it came to creating something himself from the bottom up, he didn’t think that it would work for him. Not because it didn’t work, but because he didn’t think that he was worthy.
He spent so much of his time depending on others to give him tasks that his self-esteem was totally dependent on a 3rd party. His confidence in his worth can only be provided by doing something someone else wants and then having that person approve. He had a very hard time defining what success is for him as an individual.
He didn’t say this in so many words. He didn’t say this at all; but it’s the only thing that makes sense. I’ve struggled with it. When I finally identified that fuzzy doubt in the back of my mind, it all made sense. I believed in myself. I believed in the system. So then what’s the problem? Where is the gap? The gap is deep down in that big brain of yours telling you that you can’t possibly deserve this awesome thing.
When we meet again, which I’m sure we will, I’m going to tell him that he is absolutely worthy of enjoying the fruits of what his labor is going to produce. He is capable of defining his own success and he can choose his goals and values and have confidence in his ability to achieve them by himself.
Your life. Your terms.
I’ll have to warn him to be careful about blindly forcing himself to have faith in himself and truck on. In my opinion, that’s a crapshoot.
Think. Evaluate. Then make a decision. Know your worth.
That way, you’ll never leave any room to doubt why you decided to go forward.
That way you know without a doubt that you control your own reality.
You set the terms.
You create the vehicle needed to achieve them.
You enjoy the fruits of your creation.
There’s no faith needed in that.