On Lemons & Other Fruits

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This post was inspired by a reader who emailed me about my statement about chucking lemons back to life and asking for oranges. I had never seen this video, and I thought everyone needed to see it, because it’s awesome.Β 

Can we talk about the fact that I hate lemons?

I do.

I hate them.

They’re sour.

They don’t do anything good in the world. They’re too yellow, and they only serve as condiments.

Sometimes all they’re good for are decorations.

So I think lemons are the worst.

If someone handed me lemons, I would not make lemonade. You know why?

Because I hate lemonade.

It’s sour and sweet at the same time. It’s bitter. And it’s full of itself.

Lemonade always wants to be sold at a lemonade stand. Lemonade wants to be sweet AND sour.

Lemonade is made out of lemons, which, as we’ve gone over, I hate.

You don’t see limes going around asking people if they would make it into a beverage. No sirry.

Limes are practical fruit.

You may not hate lemons like I do, but I know for a fact that there exists a fruit you like better than lemons.

Lemons are my favorite fruit, said no one EVER.

So when someone hands you lemons (and by ‘someone’ I mean ‘Life’), don’t make lemonade until you consider the alternatives. There are a variety of fruits out there, and Life is just trying to be funny and hide them from you.

I’m onto you, Life!

I know your tricks. You can’t fool me.

And now you will never be able to fool anyone else.

Pineapple

This is a fruit that’s got it together.

Pineapple knows that it wants to be sweet.

It looks awesome. It can be worn as a hat.

Lots of stuff you can do with a pineapple.

Alas, you can even make pineapple juice, which I don’t approve of, but at least it’s not pretentious enough to want to be sold in vending machines (like lemonade for example).

Why not give the lemons back to Life and ask for Pineapples instead?

Avocado

Talk about a fruit that’s got it going on!

Avocado’s can go on sandwiches, in salads, and the heavenly substance we mortals call ‘guacamole’ is made out of avocado.

Getting an avocado from Life sounds infinitely better than getting a lemon.

Life doesn’t like to give away it’s avocados, so you’ll have to fight for this one.

In the end it’s worth it.

I mean.

Guacamole vs lemonade?!

Come on!

Mango

Not only are mangos the most delicious fruit to ever exist (what was Eve thinking when she took the apple?), but it’s full of Vitamin C and E and helps with heart rate, blood pressure, and asthma.

Mango kicks lemons’ ass.

My point is that you should never settle with what you’re given if you want more. There are a ton of fruit that Life could have given you that aren’t lemons. You just have to fight for them.

Don’t take no for an answer.

Don’t stop until you get your desired fruit.

Because, hey, you don’t want to be the only bozo on the block stuck with a lemon do you?

 

{ 19 comments… add one }
  • Guido September 20, 2012, 11:30 am

    GET MAD! =)

    Reply
    • Liz September 20, 2012, 2:24 pm

      So mad! Love that video :).

      Reply
  • Coach Comeback September 20, 2012, 12:36 pm

    OH……

    MY……..

    FREAKIN………

    GOODNESS!!!

    soundbite of the day – “the heavenly substance we mortals call β€˜guacamole’ . . ..”

    Hilarious Liz! Thank you for this! I’m headed to the store straight to the lemon isle with a hammer as we speak…. just because

    Reply
    • Liz September 20, 2012, 2:23 pm

      Haha thank you James! It was so bizarre because I’ve been writing these long posts that take me days, that this just came out in ten minutes. A spontaneous rant! All so true though.

      Give those lemons hell for me will you?

      Reply
      • Coach Comeback September 20, 2012, 4:42 pm

        hahahaha the best inspiration and work comes when it doesn’t feel like work at all!

        Those lemon better watch out for James!

        Reply
  • Cam September 20, 2012, 1:24 pm

    If I could marry a fruit, I would marry a mango. Does it really get any better than Mango? I don’t think so. They’re so good it’s unbelievable. Clever post. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Liz September 20, 2012, 2:25 pm

      Me too! I would so marry a Mango! I wouldn’t be caught dead with a Lemon!

      Thanks πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • Iris September 22, 2012, 4:25 am

    This is so good. Love your unique content.

    I’d definitely say that mirabelles is the fruit of my choice. I better fight for it, because I’d say it’s even better than your mango. HA!

    Reply
    • Liz September 22, 2012, 10:40 am

      OMG. Mirabelles look delicious. Never heard of them. I don’t even know where to start looking for them.

      Good one!!!

      Reply
      • Iris September 25, 2012, 11:51 am

        I’m not sure if you can get them in America, maybe you should google them or something… Yeah, google that fruit. Gosh.

        Reply
  • Brendan Baker September 22, 2012, 9:05 pm

    What about Grapes? Grapes are just sooooo cute and kissable!!

    Reply
    • Liz September 23, 2012, 5:05 pm

      You know I really did think about grapes, but it seemed to be more like a collection of fruit rather than a single fruit, so I had to leave it out. You know. On principle.

      But I think grapes are fantastic! (At least the seedless kind).

      Reply
  • Jane Manthorpe January 31, 2013, 9:29 pm

    Had to laugh at this post, loved the video, but I can tell you the best fruit out are Banana’s.
    You can’t beat and admire a banana for its lovely curvy shape, how it slips easy out of its skin to reveal that satisfying and rewarding sweetness of its inner body, so tender and smooth.
    Banana’s are delicious and the king of fruits, so good to binge on πŸ™‚ you just can’t overeat on them and you could survive just eating banana’s alone, did you know that?

    Reply
    • Liz February 1, 2013, 11:13 am

      Really?? I had no idea! That’s awesome. You’re right though. Bananas are pretty clutch. The only reason I didn’t include them is because they have a weird icky hard brown thing at the end and it’s always made me feel all wiggly. I’ve wondered about it for years, but I have no idea what it is! Do you know?

      Reply
    • Coach Comeback February 1, 2013, 12:20 pm

      YOWZERS!!!! Best description I have ever heard of a banana…. EVER!!!!!!!!!

      Reply
      • Jane Manthorpe February 3, 2013, 3:01 am

        Hi there Liz, the hard black or brown thing at the TOP of the banana is part of the seed. Bananas are fruit and fruits always grow from a seed. When I say the TOP of the banana, the opposite end of the stalk end, is because if you have ever had problems or is hard to peel the banana at the stalk end, its because you are peeling the banana at the wrong end. Monkeys peel bananas from the black hard seed end by slightly squeezing the end to cause the skin to split and then the skin easily peels away and you can also get rid of that hard brown thing at the end. Use the stalk as a handle to eat the banana πŸ™‚
        CoachComeback – πŸ™‚ I am glad you liked my description of the banana

        Reply
        • Liz February 3, 2013, 7:18 pm

          Amazing! I don’t know how I went all this time without knowing that. Although, I’ll probably continue peeling bananas the wrong way, just because the seed still gives me the wiggles. I have to squeeze the banana out before I see it or else I get the chills.
          Does this thing have a name? Someone told me it was called a pistel distel or something like that!

          Reply

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